Getting a phone call from the school is almost always a bad thing.  Either your child has done something wrong, or he/she is doing poorly with the schoolwork.  But when you get a phone call from the resource teacher, you know it’s serous.  To hear that your child is not doing well in school is very stressful and can be very upsetting to a parent.  Parents need to keep in mind that the school is actually trying to help the child.  Even if you don’t agree with everything the teachers are saying, you are still all on the same side!  The school and the parents both want what’s best for the children.

Before the Meeting With the Resource teacher

Get yourself ready to hear whatever they have to say.  Remember, they are not trying to be unkind; they are trying to help!  Be ready to hear them out and be open to their ideas and recommendations.  They are the professionals.  They have had a lot of experience helping children with different kinds of learning problems.  Prepare yourself not to get upset or act in a hostile way, even if you do not agree with what they say.

At the Meeting With the Resource teacher

Be polite!  Greet the school staff with a smile.  If they like you, it will be to your child’s advantage.  Evaluate what they say.  Find things to agree with in what they are saying.  Contribute to the conversation if you have ideas or suggestions.  Agree to their plan if it seems good to you!  If you feel their recommendations are not going to work or benefit your child, speak up.  Share your thoughts and feelings tactfully.  Explain why you think and feel as you do.  Try to come up with some alternatives.  Ultimately, the child is yours, and it is you who needs to make sure he/she gets a good education and maintains a healthy self-esteem.   At the end of the meeting, thank the school staff for their time and for helping your child.  Leave things on a positive note.

After the Meeting With the Resource teacher

Research other ways to help your child.  Talk to other parents who have gone through the same thing and get advice from them.  For some children, tutoring may be very helpful.  Steinbach Tutoring Services provides tutoring in the Steinbach area.  If your child is struggling with basic academic skills, computer learning games are often helpful, particularly in the area of Math.  ViaTheNet.ca provides online learning games organized by grade level and subject, including many online Math games.  If you think of other ways to help your child, feel free to call the school staff to let them know what you are doing.  They will be encouraged to know that you are taking the situation seriously and that you are taking additional steps to help your child.

Carry through on the plan that was agreed to at the meeting.  If you said that you would help your child at home in certain ways, be sure to follow through with that!  Education is important, and even more important is your child’s feelings of success.

©2010 Celesta Thiessen

Homeschooling Outside the Home

In some situations, parents may want to have their child homeschooled in someone else’s home. Parents may chose this arrangement when they work full time but still desire the benefits of homeschooling, when they have too many other children in the home, when they have difficulty managing the child’s learning or behaviour, or when they feel unable to teach the academic content. Having your child homeschooled by someone else is permitted by the province of Manitoba and can be arranged through Steinbach Tutoring Services. Celesta Thiessen is available to provide homeschooling during daytime hours. Celesta is a Christian and can incorporate Biblical lessons into daily instruction upon request. Please call 346-1489 for more information.

Tutoring for Homeschoolers

For a parent who doesn’t feel comfortable teaching a certain subject or topic, there are two options. The parent can learn the material first and then teach it, or the homeschooling parent can have someone else (a tutor) teach this content to the child. Call Steinbach Tutoring Services at 346-1489 for more information about tutoring for homeschooled students.

Articles for Homeschooling Parents

There are many educational articles that are a great resource for homeschooling parents or those considering homeschooling.

Other Homeschooling Resources

When considering homeschooling, it is important to review any important and helpful information related to homeschooling before making a decision.

Here is the Government of Manitoba website concerning the legalities and requirements pertaining to homeschooling in Manitoba and Manitoba Association of Christian Home Schools.

Children Who Won’t Go to School

Has your older child been out of school for some time? Steinbach Tutoring Services has a program to help.

After a reading level assessment and an informal Math skills assessment, we will prepare an academic program that will teach the skills and concepts of the appropriate grade level with approximately the following amount of time spent with each subject, as recommended by the Manitoba Department of Education.

45% Language Arts (English)
29% Mathematics
13% Science
13% Social Studies

Once the program is developed, you can decide how often the student will meet with the instructor, depending on how well he/she can work independently and on how often you are available to help him/her. If you would like Steinbach Tutoring Services to be primarily responsible for his/her education, we will need at least 6 hours/week to teach the student. The student will also have to be able/willing to do 2-3 hours of homework per day.

Beginning Homeschooling

Would you like someone to sit down with you to explain how to go about homeschooling your child? To learn more about homeschooling in the province of Manitoba, call (204)346-1489 or fill in the contact form below to make an appointment with Celesta Thiessen.

A Way to Approach Online Pornography with Young Children

Tell the child, “The human body is a beautiful thing. Parts that are covered up by a bathing suit are private parts. Those parts are special and so need to be kept private. You shouldn’t look at other people’s private parts and other people shouldn’t look at yours, except for parents and doctors when necessary. If a picture of a naked person comes up on the computer, click “x” and tell me right away.” It is important that a child knows what to do so that they don’t feel afraid and ashamed if something like this happens.

Email, Facebook, and Cell Phones

Parents should have the passwords for their children’s/teen’s email and facebook and other accounts. Parents should also have access to the teen’s cell phone. If youths have nothing to hide, this arrangement shouldn’t be a big deal to them. It is important that parents keep an eye on what children and teens are doing online and with their cell phones. Sexual instant messaging, emailing, and texting are becoming increasing problems with young people today. Posting inappropriate pictures of themselves on Facebook or sending these photos via cell phone has become a significant issue with female youth. Teens have difficulty foreseeing the future results of their actions and so they need parental input on what is appropriate.
Children and teens will also feel less inclined to participate in inappropriate discussions or postings when they know that their parents have their passwords, have access to their cell phones, and will see what they have been doing. It is like a teen’s bedroom. Although it is theirs and they do have some privacy, parents still do have the right to go in and take a look at what is going on. If parents see that inappropriate activity is taking place on the Internet or other technological devices, youths should receive consequences appropriate to the infraction (loss of computer time, Internet, cell phone, etc.).
For elementary-aged children, Zoobah email is a good choice. It is only $12 a year. Only emails from a pre-specified ‘white list’ are allowed to reach your child’s in box. For every email your child receives, you will get a copy of it sent to your email. If an email is sent from someone outside of the specified list of contacts, the parent receives an email that allows them to add that person to the contact list and send the email to the child’s inbox if they so wish.

Proactive Internet Safety

It is important for parents to be proactive in their approach to finding solutions to Internet concerns. Learning via the net is helpful and exciting for children!

© Celesta Thiessen

There are many great homeschooling groups. Some homeschooling groups meet together weekly or biweekly. There are many different types of homeschooling groups. These groups may be primarily social groups where parents visit and children play together. Parents may get ‘adult time’ away from the kids while a paid babysitter or volunteer supervises a prolonged ‘recess time’ for the children. Other homeschooling groups are more structured. Some of these groups offer specialized classes for the children. Parents take turns teaching these multi-age classes. Some examples of lesson topics are cooking, knitting, seasonal crafts and science projects or experiments. In order to participate in one of these activity-based groups, parents need to be willing to teach a lesson every so often. Many, but not all of homeschool groups are Christian in nature. This is because many Christians feel their core beliefs need to be passed on to their children in a school setting. Christian homeschool groups may also include a praise and worship time and a short devotional.

There are two keys for home school parents to get the support they need. First thing a homeschooling parent needs to know is where to look to find other homeschool parents. Secondly, a homeschooling parent needs to determine what type of support group would be most beneficial to join. For the province of Manitoba, here is a calendar of Manitoba homeschool events.    On this Calendar homeschooling parents can advertise their homeschool support group, homeschooling event or homeschooling field trip opportunity. To contribute events to this calendar you must be a member of this site ViaTheNet.ca.

Another avenue of support for homeschool parents is to have social interaction with other homeschool parents online. On a homeschool forum a homeschooling parent can ask questions of other homeschoolers in order to exchange valuable information and tips on homeschooling. A local online homeschool forum is a good way to meet other homeschooling parents in your area. Check out this Homeschooling Forum.

Homeschooling can be extremely challenging but homeschooling parents do not have to go it alone. Use online resources to contact other homeschoolers to join local homeschooling groups or interact with other homeschooling parents online to obtain valuable advice and support.

© Celesta Thiessen

Filtering

Internet filtering involves allowing (white-listing) or blocking certain specific websites as well as blocking websites that contain certain keywords. For very young children, it is desirable to have a white-list of sites that they are permitted to visit. A parent may provide shortcuts to these sites on the child’s desktop (the computer’s main screen). Older children and teens should be restricted in their searches by a list of banned keywords. Almost all filtering software comes with a default list of disallowed keywords already in place. This list can be expanded as needed.

Monitoring

Internet monitoring involves keeping a log or record of all the websites visited, emails sent, Internet chats attended, etc. Some monitoring software only keeps a log of questionable activities, such as searching for disallowed keywords. Other monitoring solutions are very elaborate and extensive. The most basic reports are simply stored on the computer where the software is installed. In this scenario, a parent needs to log in to view the reports. There are also monitoring software that emails parents a daily or weekly report. Some monitoring software allows the parents to have access to the reports at any time and even view what is happening on another computer real-time. The more elaborate the software, the higher the cost. Some higher-end monitoring solutions also have ongoing monthly costs.

Disadvantages

Most, though not all, filtering and monitoring software cost money. Even if the software itself is free, there will need to be some type of investment when installing and configuring the software. It may mean hiring someone to come to your home to give you a tutorial on how to use the software, or it may simply mean an investment of your time as you become familiar with the software.

Filtering software isn’t perfect. Some inappropriate material is bound to slip through. Some websites are deliberately mislabelled with neutral, unrelated keywords so they will not be disallowed by filtering software. Also, some harmless/useful sites will be blocked. For instance, searches for, “breast cancer” and “chicken breast recipes” will be blocked.

If older children/teens have extended periods of computer use with no direct supervision, and they are determined to get around the filtering/monitoring software, they will likely manage to do so. There are ways to eventually disable or circumvent most software on the market.

Advantages

Filtering software will make it less likely that a child will be exposed to something inappropriate. Monitoring software will make youths less likely to try to access inappropriate websites because they know that their parents will be informed about what they viewed or tried to view. Other techniques to minimize the risks associated with Internet use can be used along with this software. Filtering and monitoring software is just one key component of a good overall plan to keep your children safe while online.

Parental Control is a good, basic Internet filtering/monitoring software that is available for free.

© Celesta Thiessen

Repeated studies have shown that frequent exposure to pornography will lead to a distorted view of sex and of the opposite gender. (Edward Donnerstein, “Ordinances to Add Pornography to Discrimination against Women,” statement at Public Hearing of Minneapolis City Council Session (12 December 1983). See also Luis T. Garcia, “Exposure to Pornography and Attitudes about Women and Rape: A Correlative Study,” AG 22 (1986), 382-83. See also Zillman, “Effects of Prolonged Consumption,” 129; and N. Malamuth and J. Ceniti, 129-37.   See also Cline, Pornography’s Effects, 8.) Early exposure, especially before puberty, to sexually explicit images can have a very significant effect on an individual because the brain is still developing at that time.  In worst-case scenarios, youngsters have, with younger siblings or other children with whom they had contact, tried out what they viewed.  Sexual behaviours before puberty have only two possible sources – abuse or exposure to pornography.  (Stephen J. Kavanagh, Protecting Children in Cyberspace (Springfield, VA: Behavioral Psychotherapy Center, 1997), 58-59.) Viewing pornography as a child can have effects that continue into adult life and require counseling.

Aggressive Porn Distributors

As anyone with experience using the Internet knows, accessing pornography online is very easy.  In fact, pornography or links to pornography often appear when one is searching other topics. Distributors of pornography on the Internet have become very aggressive.  They use deception to steer individuals to their sites, and many of these pornographers do not care whether or not the individuals are children.

One deception that porn sites implement is the use of neutral or even kid-friendly keywords that will be picked up by search engines. When someone searches for kittens, for example, they may find pornography instead. Porn sites will also label the images on their sites with neutral terms so that the images will be displayed by a Google image search.  Another tactic pornography sites employ is to buy expired domain names. What was once a helpful site may be replaced by pornography if the organization forgets to renew its domain name. Pornographers may also create sites that are a deliberate misspelling of a popular mainstream site. Not long ago googlle.com (misspelling of google.com) pointed to a porn site.

Why Do They Do It?

Why do pornographers try to direct people, even children, who aren’t looking for porn to their sites?

1. Some individuals think it’s exciting or funny to expose themselves or present nude/sexual photos to those who aren’t expecting it.

2.  Some individuals feel powerful when they gain control of an aspect of someone’s life or computer. Many computer viruses and malware lurk on porn sites.  The operators of such sites could gain access to your computer if a person in your home visits their porn sites.

3.  Individuals can make money from advertising clicks on their site as well as by actually selling access to their pornography.

What to Do About the Problem of Pornography

1.  Place all devices connected to the Internet in a public room, facing out.

2.  Use ad-blocking software.

3. Use website filtering software.

4.  Model appropriate Internet use.

5.  Directly teach appropriate use of the Internet.

The Internet is a power tool. You wouldn’t leave a nine-year-old alone with a power saw even though, by the time he was man, it would be beneficial to him in life if he had been trained to use one.  Nor would a father say, “I won’t own any power tools because they may harm the children”.  Instead, he would allow the children to experience the devices in appropriate ways, such as by watching him build something and by beginning to try the tools out, under direct supervision and when mature enough to handle the equipment.  In the same way, although it is unwise to leave a child or young teen alone with the Internet, when they are grown, they need to be able to handle the Internet. They will be moving out on their own where there will be no one to supervise Internet use. To prevent children from interacting with technology is to disadvantage them in life and to leave them unprepared for what they will face in the adult world.  Simply monitoring computer use is not enough.  Teaching and modeling appropriate Internet use are essential steps in the process of helping your child develop into a responsible adult.

Pornography

There are a lot of explicitly sexual images online.  Shockingly, nine out of ten children between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed pornography on the Internet, in most cases unintentionally (London School of Economics, January 2002).  Filtering software is useful in blocking many of the sites that are inappropriate for children.  Unfortunately, these types of software cannot block all pornographic sites.  Some websites that display inappropriate images, disguise/intentionally mislabel their sites and are, therefore, not picked up by filtering software.  As a result, children can stumble upon pornography without meaning to do so.  Some pornography websites even use, as keywords, the names of children’s television programs, such as “Dora the Explorer”.  The best way to ensure children aren’t exposed pornography online is to actively supervise Internet use in the home.

Once children are exposed to these sexually explicit images, they may want to continue to view them.  Children who view pornography develop unhealthy views about the opposite gender and incorrect/unrealistic thinking about sex. These attitudes and beliefs, if incorporated at a young age, especially before puberty, can become a part of their core personality. Children who have viewed pornography extensively will likely need some type of therapy to repair the damage incurred through viewing sexually explicit images.

Unhealthy Worldviews

People online feel uninhibited – free to express whatever they think or feel.  Adult thoughts or feelings are not always appropriate for sharing with children.  Disturbingly, one in every five children (10 to 17 years old) receives unwanted sexual solicitations online (Youth Internet Safety Survey, U.S. Department of Justice, 2001).  Besides the risk of sexual predators, children or teens can potentially meet, online, people who suggest immoral, illegal or otherwise harmful behaviours or attitudes.  Children need time with appropriate role models, ideally mom and dad.  They need to be kept away from people who would model or encourage self-destructive behaviors.

Be the Role Model and Guide

In order to become your child’s role model, you need to spend time with your child. Model appropriate thinking and behaviour for your child.  Explain to your child what is right and wrong.  Guide your child’s use of the Internet by being in close proximity while he or she uses the computer.  To this end, it is best to place the computer in a public place such as the family room.  Some parents find it helpful to place their child’s computer on a desk right beside their own.

Pornography and unhealthy worldviews are two very real dangers to using the Internet. Parents are entrusted with the safety of their children.  It is vital that parents supervise Internet use and take whatever other steps necessary to mitigate Internet-use risks.  Parents should be the primary role models for their children.  To make this happen, parents need to play an active and positive role in their children’s lives.

© Celesta Thiessen

Teach Children about Internet Concerns

Forewarned is forearmed, as they say.  Children need to know what type of content/activities you would consider inappropriate.  They should also know what to do if they come across anything inappropriate.  Children should be taught to click away from any sites that are bad and immediately let the parent know what has happened.  Children also need to be taught never to give out personal information online like their name, phone number, or address.

Establish Internet Safeguards in the Home

The lack of a plan is a plan to fail.  And parents cannot afford to fail at keeping their children safe while using the Internet.  Parents need to determine technology and Internet use rules in the home.  There are many serous risks connected to unsupervised Internet use.  The best way to make sure that children are not getting into trouble online is actively monitor all Internet use.  Some software may be beneficial to log activities on a certain computer and to filter/block undesirable sites.  However, these software solutions are almost never 100% effective and should be coupled with the following recommended Internet use safeguards.

1. No Internet in the bedroom.  It is highly recommended that children use Internet devices in family areas, such as the living room or rec room.  Allowing a child to have Internet devices, such as computer, iPod touch, or even a cell phone in the bedroom is potentially disastrous.  Make this a clear rule of the home, beginning when children are young.  It is not enough just to turn off wifi as children may be able to use an open Internet connection in the neighbourhood or use a cell phone connection.
2. No computer time when parents aren’t home. Students aged eleven and up may be left alone at home.  It is extremely unwise to allow students Internet access when home alone.  This rule can be enforced in several different ways.  The best way is to have a password on the computer that only the parent knows.
3. No computer after _________. Some parents may decide that a child can use the computer or other Internet devices for only a certain limited amount of time each day – for example, one hour.  Other parents have a certain time a day after which students cannot use the computer – for example, after supper or after 9:00pm, whatever time frame suits your family and the age of your children.
4. Poor choices regarding the Internet result in loss of privileges. If a child visits/tries to visit an inappropriate site, the child should have his/her computer/Internet privileges revoked for a certain time period.  A subsequent infraction should result in a longer suspension.

Enforce Internet Safeguards and Internet Use Rules

It is pointless to have rules and then not enforce them.  The safeguards you create for your children need to be enforced diligently and consistently.  All adults in the home have to agree to insist upon the same standards.  If exceptions are granted, in no time at all, things may spin out of control.

1. Make sure children know the Internet/technology use rules of the home.
2. Supervise Internet activity.
3. Make sure loss of privileges ALWAYS occurs for disregard of family rules.

It is better not to have Internet or computers than to let children get into serious trouble online.  By enforcing Internet safeguards, you are protecting your children.

Conclusion

Some parents maintain that they can trust their children so not Internet rules are necessary in their home.  My question is this:  Would you trust your child with a sexual predator?  It is not a matter of trust.  It is a matter of protection.  Parents need to protect their children by supervising Internet use.

© Celesta Thiessen

Risk of Physical Danger

There are people in this world out to harm your kids!  The risk of physical harm to your child comes in two forms.

1. Deviants who want to meet or abduct your children. Children and teens must never give out personal information such as their real name, phone number or address.  They should never agree to meet someone they have only talked to online!
2. Individuals who would give your children harmful advice or instructions. There are people out there who would prompt others to suicide or encourage other harmful behaviours because they actually think it is a good idea.  There are other people out there who think it is funny to harm others or get them to harm themselves.

There was once a young teen boy who followed ‘instructions’ he had found online.   These ‘instructions’ told him to mix certain chemicals together, heat them on the stove, and “watch closely” what would happen.  The materials burst explosively into flame.  Luckily, the boy was not near the pot when it happened so he was not burned but this story could have ended very differently.

Risk of Financial/Material Loss

Make sure your children know that they should not give out financial or credit card information to someone online.  There have been online scams where perpetrators have asked young children to get the credit card out of mommy’s purse or daddy’s wallet.

There are also numerous ‘joke’ ‘instructions’  in youtube videos and on other websites.  These ‘instructions’ can be very destructive if followed by a child.   For instance, instructions exist for taking electronics apart and replacing certain components with tinfoil, essentially ruining them.  Parents need to tell their children not to do anything they read or see online without checking with them first.

Conclusion

Parents need to be aware of the risks associated with Internet use so that they can work towards neutralizing technology-induced risks.  The Internet is a powerful tool.  With proper Internet parental supervision, the use of the Internet and technology has many benefits.

© Celesta Thiessen



Internet for Research

Students in Grade Three and above greatly benefit from using the Internet for researching Social Studies and Science projects.  Often, researching projects at the local library is not enough for the simple reason that most libraries do not have a wide variety of books on all topics.  For some families, access to a library is not even possible.  The obvious solution is to allow student to research Science and Social Studies projects on the Internet.  Parents should teach children in Grade Three and above to use the Internet for research.  Children should be taught how to enter search terms into the search box of the browser, how to determine which results to click on, and how to evaluate if a particular site is a good source of information.

Technology for Instruction

The use of technology can make teaching homeschoolers much more manageable.  There are many types of technologies that the homeschooling parent can use to actually teach the homeschooling child.  Parents may choose to use CD ROMs containing instructional videos or demonstrations.  Parents may also opt to use online instructional resources with their children.  The iPad is another device suitable for homeschooling instruction.

Technology for Practice and Review

A variety of different hardware and software can be beneficial for concept/skill practice and review.  The iPod touch and the iPad with their apps can be used for this purpose.  There are also computer games available on CDROM.  Many online educational activities are also excellent for the review and practice of academic skills.

Technology for Creative Projects

Artwork and creative projects for any subject can be created in electronic format.  The iPod touch/iPad have some nice drawing apps for kids.  There are many different types of designing software that can be used on a PC or Mac computer.  Students could also make multimedia projects such as Power Point Presentations or even movies!

Internet for Homeschooling Information

The Internet is a great source of information for the homeschooling parent.  It is important to understand government guidelines and policies regarding homeschooling.  Here is the Manitoba Government homeschooling information.  There also many other websites that are helpful to homeschoolers in Manitoba, including the MACHS website.  There are also homeschooling forums where parents can get advice from other homeschoolers and homeschooling events calendars where homeschoolers can find out what homeschooing events are happening in their area.

Beneficial Use of Technology and the Internet

The Internet and modern technology can be very useful for the homeschooling parent.  From instruction and review to research and digital creative projects, using technology has many, many advantages. However, parents also need to consider the dangers inherent in using the Internet.  Children should always have supervised Internet use to circumvent any inappropriate online activities.  Children need to be protected while being given the opportunity to reach their full potential.

© Celesta Thiessen